Umm...when is the last time I updated here? I just can't get it together for blogging anymore. I spend all my time on a forum and I have nothing left for here.

However, I kept a journal for Ava's conception up to a few months ago and I intend to do the same for all my children.

We started to TTC a week ago. We were going to wait a couple more months, but figured we might as well start now, just in case it takes longer than expected. I have to plan pregnancy around my work schedule to maximize the use of my 2 months off during the summer months.

I'm so excited to have a new baby to grow, birth and nurse. Ava nurses 2 or 3 times a day now for a few minutes at a time and I really miss being the only sustenance for an infant. I look forward to the long nursing sessions. I miss the rooting when they want to nurse. These days I get "Milky-milky?!" as my shirt is pulled up.

I am a little apprehensive of the other side of it. Ava only started sleeping through the night about 6 weeks ago (right at her 2nd birthday). I'm finally feeling normal and I don't look forward to throwing up for many months and broken sleep due to pregnancy and baby's feeding schedule.

I also feel guilty and a bit sad about weaning Ava. I don't want to tandem nurse. I figure she'll wean on her own close to 20 weeks (when your milk usually turns to colostrum), but if she doesn't I'll wean her a few months before my due date. I hate to force her to give up something she enjoys so much whether it be from drying up or me weaning her. Plus, then she's really not my baby anymore ;) It freaks me out that it is possible that within a few months she'll no longer be nursing.

I can't wait for a year off with both my children!